


Nightmares

by locrianrose



Series: Seeking Knowledge Verse [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, checkout my mary sue, i'm sorry mom, literally the most self indulgent thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 03:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15040118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/locrianrose/pseuds/locrianrose
Summary: Callia can't sleep. Her friends and the Commander try to help her with that.





	Nightmares

_ Callia raised the unknown rifle, hands slick with blood as she glanced down at the vandal she’d wrest it from. The make was unfamiliar, but as she held it in her hands, she knew her purpose, and so she moved quickly, without hesitation, firing it again and again against the horde pressing against her. The fallen fell, one by one, but even as they did, other enemies pressed in and against her, trying to force her back and down.  _

_ “Ghost–” Callia yelled, “Ghost, I need you to–”  _

_ BAM.  _

_ Somewhere in the mass, a bullet was fired, slamming into Callia’s shoulder, rendering her arm useless and sparking. She called out, dropping the rifle, and from somewhere in the crowd a Captain emerged. Callia blinked, and then–  _

_ –The titan she’d met just after she’d first been revived charged her, heavy sword in his grasp, and then– _

“Callia!” Someone was shaking her awake, pulling her away from the battle. She gathered the void energy in her hand, ready to strike, rising up, but then– “Callia. Listen to me.”

Someone had placed a hand on her shoulder, heavy and warm. 

Callia slowly lowered her hand, her optics flickering on as she did. 

“Callia, are you with me?”

She didn’t answer for a long moment, poised and waiting. In the darkness of the room she could see Zavala, propped up on one arm, datapad laying on the blankets. 

“Yes.” She said, slowly forcing herself to relax. “I just-- bad dream.” Callia let herself slump back down, blankets askew. 

Zavala carefully picked up the datapad, placing it on a table to the side of the bed, before carefully laying down next to Callia. 

“Do you think that you’ll sleep again tonight?”

“No.” Callia was sure of that. The nights that she would sleep were few and far between, for the dreams that came when she did were far from welcome. This had been an occasion--her first day back from the EDZ after being stationed there for few weeks, and the two of them had decided that they’d make a night out of it.

Callia had hoped that she’d be able to sleep, but it seemed that fate and the Deep Stone crypt had other things in mind.

“We could walk. It should be quiet out.”

“Laying here is fine.” Callia said, sighing. 

“Then we’ll stay here.” Zavala draped an arm over Callia’s chest, pulling her close. 

“It didn’t look like you were sleeping either.”

“Vanguard business. It’ll wait for now.” He murmured to her. “This night was just for us.” 

“And I’m grateful for that.” Callia said. “What’ve you got tomorrow?”

“Supervising strikes. We have a team heading in to deal with Fallen on Nessus, and I need to be available.”

“I understand.” Callia said, an idea coming to her. “What about that night? We don’t  _ have _ to sleep.”

“Ah--Sleep is, at least somewhat necessary.”

“I wasn’t thinking of  _ that _ .” Callia said. “I just. Thought we could go for a picnic. Try to do something nice that we normally couldn’t?” She finished hesitantly.

“That would be welcome.”

“You’re not too busy?” Callia asked. 

“One missed night of sleep won’t be the end of the world.”

“You’d at least better get some sleep.” Callia said, gesturing to his datapad. “You’re the one who needs to do things tomorrow.”

“What will you be doing?”

“Rust and Galen want to run some rounds in the crucible, so I’ll be busy with that.”

“We’ve at least got a few more hours before I’ll need to go.”

“You  _ should _ try to sleep.” Callia said. “Especially if we’re planning to stay up tomorrow.”

Zavala sighed. 

“...Very well.” Zavala exhaled deeply, closing his eyes. “I will try to sleep.”

* * *

The next day, Callia emerged from the crucible largely in one piece, and that done, she bid her fireteam their farewells and ventured out into the city, searching for food. She’d never done anything like this since she’d been reborn, and so it was strange, searching for something that’d be acceptable to the Commander. 

This was a date, and if she was being honest, it was probably one of the first that they’d attempted. Most of their time spent together was stolen moments away from work or other business that they had, so this would be different. 

Callia walked the streets, looking at different vendors hawking their wares, attempting to decide what would work for a date. The activity of searching for food for such a thing was ridiculously mundane. Here, in civilian clothes, no one knew that she was a guardian. She was just another person purchasing food, and no one would know who she was-- or what she was. Here she wasn’t the Warlock who’d had to be disciplined because she’d dabbled with the hive and hadn’t been off earth since. She wasn’t the warlock who’d been seen by a few of Zavala’s titans a suspicious amount of times with their Commander (although they’d largely been extremely enthusiastic and extremely friendly).

Here she was no one, and Callia wasn’t sure that she liked that. 

Still, being unknown allowed her to make her trip quickly and quietly, and soon she was returning to the tower, prepared with food.

Callia slipped through the tower, returning to her room quietly and carefully. However, when she reached her door, there was an obstacle in her way. Rust-5 was standing imposingly at her door, knocking determinedly. 

“Rust!” Callia said, slipping past her and entering the code for her door. “What’re you doing here?”

Callia entered her room, dropping off her purchases on her cot. The titan followed her into her room, filling up the small space quickly. 

“Callia, Galen and I have decided we’re not going to let you slip off tonight to be alone. You always do that when we get back, and tonight we’re going to go do something fun. We’ll test if Exos can get drunk, you and I! Galen can, we know that, but there’s always a time for experimentation. You--You like knowledge! Take it as a test!”

“Rust, I’ve already got plans.”

“With what? Pestering Ikora about meditation?” Rust said, no malice in her question, only jest. “Join us, Callia!”

“I really am busy.” Callia said. “As much as I’d love to test that with you, I already have plans.”

“With who?” Rust asked. “Old fireteam?”

“...No.” Callia said, debating what to tell Rust. “...I’ve got a date.”

“Excellent! With who? I can threaten him. Or her!”

If Callia had been flesh and blood, she probably would have blushed at this moment. 

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Callia said.

“Why? Who could best me? I’ll challenge them in the crucible!”

Callia choked on her next words. 

“Again, not the best idea.”

“Why not? Wait-- Callia, are you telling me that the rumours are true?”

“There’s rumours?”

“Well, among the titans. We keep an eye on our leader.”

Callia shifted her feet, supremely uncomfortable. 

Rust continued. “I told them that you’d never do that! I said that you were married to your research and your ‘pursuit of knowledge’ and now you mean to tell me that they were right? I put good money against that being true!”

“You bet against me?” Callia said, scandalized. 

“Of course I did!” Rust said, looking to Callia. “You’re hopeless with relationships! All you care about is asking questions!”

“I’ll have you know I’m not hopeless!” Callia said. “ _ I _ initiated the date!”

“Is it your first?” 

“Well, I mean--not technically.” 

Rust clanked a great hand on Callia’s back.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. Galen and I? We’ll make sure that this works out for you. You don’t need to worry. What help do you need? What’re you doing on your date?”

“Rust,” Callia began slowly, trying to think of a way to derail the Rust-5 train and where it was currently headed, “I appreciate the offer, but I want privacy more than anything else.”

“Done, don’t even worry. Galen and I will be sure that  _ no one _ comes near you other than the Commander.” Rust said, backing towards the door and out it before Callia could argue. 

The door shut behind Rust, and as it did, Callia slumped against the wall, relaxing for a moment. 

“Callia, you ought to hurry.” Her ghost popped in. “If you want to be ready in time. Also, I’ve got a few more names for you to hear that I heard while we were in the city.”

“I’m ready to hear them, Ghost. What’ve you got for me today?”

* * *

When Callia finally exited her room, it was dark outside, the halls mostly silent. Callia didn’t doubt that Rust was somewhere nearby, but she had no doubt that the titan would be lurking somewhere nearby with Galen. Hopefully Galen would be able to keep the titan more incognito than Callia knew Rust would be alone. 

Honestly, Callia wasn’t too worried. The other two did seem to honestly care and have her best interests at heart, and they’d never do anything malicious to sabotage. They were smart and good at what they did, so a simple stealth mission like this shouldn’t be too much trouble. 

She hoped. 

Callia made her way to the roof of the tower, quietly avoiding what crowds she saw. It was relatively easy to make her way there, and once she was to the spot she’d thought of, she scanned the area, making sure that she was truly alone. There didn’t seem to be anyone there, so she settled in, spreading a blanket on the ground, carefully laying out the food that she’d picked out. 

That done, she settled in to wait, absently chatting with her ghost as she did, the two of them throwing out various names. Callia had no issue waiting in the dark, and the distant lights on the tower would provide enough light. 

The time that they’d agreed to meet at had nearly passed when Callia heard footsteps approaching. She turned from where she’d been sitting, turning to watch as Zavala ascended the last few stairs up to the roof. 

“Callia.” He said. “I was waiting for Titans that were watching the wall to report back in.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine.” Zavala nodded to her, crossing the last few feet towards her. “I brought you… this.” Zavala held out his hand, extending it and offering a book to Callia, flower pressed between the cover and pages. “I… thought you might like this.”

“Oh. Thank you!” Callia said, food forgotten in the light of a new information. She reached for it, glancing at the cover before hesitating. She edged next to Zavala, standing on her toes to give him a quick kiss. “Thank you!”

“You are welcome.” Zavala said, face flushing slightly in the darkness. 

Callia flipped through the book, careful to keep the flower tucked between the pages as she did. She would definitely take the time to read through this later, and she would absolutely keep it with her few treasured possessions. For now though, it was time for their picnic. 

Callia settled down, patting the ground next to her. After a moment Zavala settled down next to her, his bulky armor bumping against her as he did. It was rare to see him out of his armor anywhere but his rooms, and Callia wasn’t surprised that this was no exception to that. He placed one of his hands on hers, the other reaching for a sandwich. 

“Now,” he began, “How did your crucible matches go today?”

“Rust was incredible.” Callia began, plucking up a piece of fruit and taking a bite. Eating wasn’t necessary, but it was nice. “She definitely carried us to at least one of our victories. She punched a hunter right out of their super!”

“Excellent. Was Shax impressed?”

“I think he might have been.” Callia said. “I can’t tell for sure, but Rust was absolutely on top of what she was doing.”

“How’s’ Galen?”

“Doing well. He’s just content to be working. I think he prefers his time in the EDZ over the tower, but he likes the break too.” Callia said. “How was work for you?”

“Good.” Zavala said, plucking a grape from a stem, holding out for Callia to eat. After a brief moment of hesitation she leaned forwards, plucking it from him with her mouth. “We stayed busy. The excursion to deal with the Fallen went well.” 

Sandwich forgotten, Zavala picked another grape up, offering it to Callia again.

“Weeeellll, I’m not gonna lie, of all the things that I expected to find when I went looking for you Zavala, this is far from the first. Like, this wasn’t even on the list. I’m not even going to try to lie.”

Zavala dropped the grape.

“Cayde.” He growled. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t get me wrong, as much as I’d absolutely love to tease you about fraternizing with Warlocks, I’m here for business, so don’t shoot the messenger. Ikora sent me to look for you. One of the teams that we sent out into the field hasn’t reported back in yet, and she thought you’d want to know.”

“What? Which team?”

“Fireteam Razor.”

Zavala sighed. 

“Callia,” he began, “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“No-- Don’t worry. I understand. Duty comes first.” Callia nodded. 

“Of course.” Zavala nodded, glaring pointedly to Cayde.

“Huh? Oh. I’ll let you two say your goodbyes.” Cayde said with a wink. “Hurry up Zavala, Ikora’s waiting-- and not on me, for once!” 

With those words, Cayde disappeared back off of the roof. 

The moment he was gone, Zavala reached for Callia, embracing her tightly. 

“I’m sorry.” He murmured. 

“Don’t worry.” Callia replied. “I understand. We both agreed that business would come first.”

“Wait for me in my room?”

“I will.” Callia said. 

Zavala pressed his lips to hers briefly before pulling away, and then briefly–impulsively– he spoke.

“I love you.” He said, standing. “I’ll see you when I’m done.”

“I’ll see you then.” Callia nodded, watching as he descended the stairs. 

She sat there, in the dark, alone, absently picking apart a sandwich, and then--

He’d said he loved her.

He had said that he loved her.

This was. Unexpected. Unprecedented, as far as Callia could remember in this lifetime, and she had no idea how to respond to this. 

“Callia! Callia! What happened? You ought to tell us!” 

“Rust?”

Sure enough, Rust-5 and Galen were ascending the stairs to the roof, Rust striding over to settle in next to Callia, Galen following at an easier pace. Rust scooped up an abandoned sandwich, chomping down on it as she talked. 

“We saw Cayde go by, and I wanted to stop him, but Galen wouldn’t let me.” Rust shot a glare at Galen who merely shrugged. 

“...Where were you?” Callia asked hesitantly. 

“Down below.” Rust continued to munch on the sandwich that Callia was at least 50% sure had been Zavala’s, not a care in the world. Galen went for the grapes, picking up the cluster. 

“Did they see you?” Callia asked, suddenly worried that either of the Vanguard members might have seen her fireteam lurking.

“I don’t think so.” Galen offered. “We were very quiet.”

“I hope they didn’t.” Callia said.

“So what happened?” Rust asked, moving on to Callia’s sandwich. 

“Vanguard business.” Callia replied. “He had to leave.”

“Aww, that’s rough.” Rust said, clapping a hand on Callia’s shoulder. “Don’t worry though! You can still go with Galen and I to get drunk!”

“Um.” Callia quickly tried to think of an excuse that’d get her out of this without explicitly stating exactly where she’d been planning on going. “I can’t. I need to clean this up, and then I really need to get some sleep.”

“You can’t pull that one on me.” Rust said loudly. “I know for a fact that you don’t sleep, and I know why! I’ve seen that tower just like you have, and I know that you wouldn’t sleep by choice. Fess up. What do you have planned?”

“...Rust, are you going to let me get out of this without an explanation?” Callia asked.

“Not a chance.” Rust crossed her arms. “Fess up.”

“I’m just going to meet with the Commander when he’s done.” Callia said.

“So you’re just going to sit here till he’s done?” Rust said skeptically. “Callia-”

“Do you have to know where we’re meeting?” 

“I want to.” Rust said.

“We’re trying to be private.” Callia said plaintively. “Rust, please.”

“Not leaving you alone till you tell us.” Rust said.

“Rust--” Galen sighed. “C’mon. Callia isn’t required to tell us everything.”

“But I want to hear it.” Rust said. “Galen, getting drunk just the two of us isn’t fun, it’s just sad and means we have a problem. If Callia would just join us--”

“I’m meeting him at his room.” Callia spoke quickly, forcing the words out.

“Callia, you sly devil!” Rust elbowed her, hard, in the side. “Excellent work. He needed someone to help him relax.”

“Rust--” Galen said, warning. 

“It’s not like that.” Callia said, trying to push Rust’s arm away. “Rust, stop it! Honestly, you’re the worst.”

“Fine, fine! I’ll stop. Tell you what. Galen and I will clean up here.” Rust nodded. “And you go do what you need to do.” 

Rust winked at Callia, who stood, grabbing the book and flower as she did. 

“Fine. I’ll go, but Rust, I swear, if you can’t keep this a secret--”

“Don’t worry!” Rust waved at Callia. “Besides, if it gets out what you’re going then I’ll owe at  least three other Titans money, so I think I can definitely be trusted not to say a thing!”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.” Galen said calmly. “You don’t need to worry Callia. We’ve got your back.”

“Thank you both.” Callia said, waving at the two. “I’ll check in when I can.”

“When you  _ can?” _ Rust said, winking again. 

“Rust, I swear, you’re the absolute  _ worst. _ ” Callia said, turning and leaving without another look behind her. 

Callia waited till she was far enough away that Rust and Galen wouldn’t overhear her before calling to her ghost, speaking in a whisper as she walked.

“Ghost.”

“Callia?”

“Did you hear what he said? Before he left?”

“I did.”

“What-- What am I supposed to say-- to do?” Callia said. “Should I have said something then?.”

“Callia, I think that’s something that you need to decide for yourself. I...don’t think I can help you here.”

“Ghost, he’s so. Him? He’s perfect. And I’m not.”

“Just because you made a stupid choice once doesn’t mean that you’re not good.”

“That comment was about the hive, wasn’t it?”

“And don’t you forget it.” 

“Ghost, you’re not helping.”

“... I’m sorry, Callia. I just think you need to make up your own mind.”

Callia sighed, then nodded.

“I just don’t know what to say.” She rounded the final corner to Zavala’s room, hesitantly punching in the code he’d given her to enter the room.

Once inside, she stripped off her boots, slumping down on the bed, clutching her book to her chest. This, at the very least, would allow her to pass the time until he returned or till she fell asleep, something that she had no intentions of doing after last night's dreams.  

“Ghost, this is the worst.” She muttered, rolling over and pressing her face into the pillows. 

“What do I say?”

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t know? I know I like him, and time spent with him is better than anyone else, but love?”

Her ghost settled down on the blankets next to her, and Callia set the book aside, putting a careful hand around her ghost.

“Callia, this’s on you, not me. I can’t help you know what to say.”

“I know.” Callia said. “I know, ghost.” She sighed again, shifting and burrowing into the blankets, reaching for the book, setting the flower to the side. The book looked old, and Callia wondered where Zavala had found it, or when he’d found the time to go out and get it. Either way, she was grateful, opening it and starting her worried reading, quietly reading aloud to her ghost. 

This continued on for hours into the night, Callia glancing up towards the door whenever she heard a sound from the outside, until the door finally opened, hours later. Callia closed the book, carefully tucking the flower into her spot and setting it to the side, sitting up. 

Zavala settled heavily on the edge of the bed, looking to Callia. 

“Is everything okay?” She asked. 

“The missing fireteam ended up reporting in. They’re having trouble with the hive on Titan, and we called for them to retreat. We’ve got another fireteam on the way to help them deal with the hive as soon as they arrive. I’ll be up in the morning early to check in, but sleep is necessary at this point.” He said, beginning to take his armor off.

“Any word on what they were dealing with?” Callia asked hesitantly, ensure as to if she should be asking about the Hive there.

“We’re not sure. Ikora’s looking into what they saw.” Zavala lowered his heavy chestpiece to the ground, glancing back to Callia. “You don’t need to worry about it. It’ll be fine, and they’ve got backup on their way. Everyone is safe for now.”

“...That’s good.” Callia said, still unsure. After a moment of hesitation, she burrowed back down into the blankets, waiting for Zavala to join her. 

A few minutes passed before he did, draping a heavy arm over her as he slid into bed, facing her and exhaling deeply. 

“It will be hard to sleep tonight.”

“Worried?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t think so.”

Callia didn’t respond for a moment. 

“Would it help if I read? I was reading to my ghost before you came back.”

“You should sleep too.”

“I’d rather not.” Callia said. “Would you mind if I did? I think it’s worth a try.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” Zavala replied, gently tracing the lines in the metal of her arm as he spoke.”

Callia shifted, reaching for her book again, shifting her position. She opened it to her spot, softly reading from it. Zavala continued his gentle tracery, and Callia continued to read. 

Eventually, his hand slowly drooped until he stopped, Callia continuing to read for a few more minutes before stopping, making a mental note of her page before setting the book down. She shifted, moving so she could watch Zavala as he slept, breathing deeply. 

“...I--” Callia began slowly, trying to think of the words that she’d failed to say earlier, voice barely audible. “I think I love you. I don’t know if this is love, but I think that it’s the closest that I’ve ever been to it before. I know I love spending time with you, and the moments that we have-- those are my favorite times. I’m so sorry that I left you before, and for what I did.”

She paused for a moment, letting her optics flicker to darkness. 

“I love you.” She said, testing the words. “Love. You. I love you?”

The room was silent. Callia sighed, dropping her head to the pillow. She’d rest for now, even if sleep wouldn’t come. 

* * *

It was hours later when Zavala stirred, his ghost appearing to wake him. Callia shifted, yawning as she did. 

“Did you sleep?” Zavala asked. 

“No.” Callia said. “Didn’t feel like it.”

Zavala sighed, glancing at his datapad. “If you want to stay here and try you are more than welcome to.”

“I’ll go pester Rust.” Callia yawned again. 

Zavala paused, looking at Callia. 

“You need to rest. I’m telling you this as the Commander. You’re no good to us exhausted.”

Callia slumped face down into the blankets. 

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“Callia.” Zavala said gently, reaching over to place a hand on her back. “Sleep.”

“I don’t even physically need to.” 

“Callia.”

“I’ll try.” Callia said. “No promises.”

Zavala stood, moving to put on his armor, and Callia let her optics flicker off, laying alone. There was no desire to sleep, as she knew well that dreams would only bring the tower to her mind, and the endless battle. Who would she see this time? Would she remember the fight, or would it be forgotten when she woke.

“Don’t let Rust convince you to do crucible till you get some sleep.”

“I’ll try.”

“I’ll message you around lunch to see how you’re doing. That should give you time to rest.”

She didn’t respond, merely laying there as Zavala continued to put on the rest of his armor. Before he left, Zavala approached her, kissing her gently on the cheek. 

“Try to sleep. I’ll message Rust and tell her that you’re not to do crucible today.”

“I will.” Callia said, curling up in the blankets. “I’ll honestly try.” 

“Good. I’ll see you later.”

“Goodbye.” Callia said, fighting the psychological urge to yawn. Despite lacking the physical capabilities to yawn, she still found herself making the noise when tired, something that she’d puzzled over before. 

She heard the door close as Zavala left, her ghost appearing as he left, settling down on the bed next to her.

“Worried about sleeping?”

“Yes.”

“It’s something that you have to do.”

“I know.” Callia reached for the book. “I’ll read for a while and see what happens.”

“Or you could just try to sleep.”

“Or I could not.” Callia retorted. 

“Ugh, just read then.” Her ghost said. “You read, and I’ll work on thinking of names.”

“We’ve got a plan.” Callia said, opening to her page and starting reading again. It was hard to make her optics focus as she did, the words swimming before her face as she did.

Maybe sleep was needed, at least for a little while. Callia regretfully set down the book, letting her optics flicker to darkness, trying to quiet her mind enough to sleep.

* * *

_ Callia was weaponless, sprinting across the grass, desperately trying to get as close to the tower as she could before enemies arrived, but then, on her left a hunter with dark skin and hair charged at her with a knife drawn. Callia was merciless, forcing the woman away with void energy from her open palm before she grabbed at the knife, ignoring how it bit into her fingers as she wrest it away from the hunter, plunging the knife into the hunter’s chest, pushing her away from her.  _

_ Someone else grabbed at her arm and Callia jammed her elbow into them, slashing instinctively with the knife. A man fell, and Callia moved on without thinking or reflecting on what had happened.  _

_ Callia turned, preparing to sprint towards the tower again, but before she could take another step, someone–they had to be a titan–hit her hard, fist sending her staggering back a few feet, landing on the ground. Callia went to scramble back to her feet, hunter’s stolen knife still clutched in her hand, staggering from the force of the blow, and then as she looked up, she saw him– Zavala– emotionless as he took aim, firing, and then– _

Callia sat bolt upright in bed, blankets snagging on her as she did. 

“Ghost–“ She said, optics flickering on as she looked around the room, shaking. “How– how long did I sleep?”

“Not long. Callia, what’s wrong?” 

“Just–just dreams. It’s just a dream.” She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “Bad dream, but just a dream. I’m not going back to sleep.”

“But the Commander said–“

“I don’t care. I’ll find Rust, and I’ll convince her to do crucible, or anything.”

“Callia, this is a stupid idea. I just want you to know that.” 

“Objection noted, Ghost.”

“You’re not going to listen to me, are you?”

“Nope.”

Callia huddled there for a moment longer before leaving the bed, strapping on her boots again and preparing to head back out. 

“Ghost, send Rust a message that I want to do crucible.”

“Fine!”

“Ghost, I can’t sleep.”

“That doesn’t meant that you should do crucible!”

“It means that I do need to do something.” Callia said, determined. “Rust will have ideas.”

“Message sent.”

“Good. I’ll go get my armor, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

“If you insist.”

“I do, Ghost.”

“Then we’ll go.”

* * *

Rust was waiting at her room when Callia exited after putting on her armor, Galen absent.

“Callia,” Rust said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I received a message earlier today from someone extremely important that you weren’t supposed to be doing any crucible because you were under strict orders to sleep, and now you come to me here asking to do crucible?”

“Rust, c’mon.” Callia said. “What harm could it do?”

“Callia, let’s take a walk.” Rust said, uncrossing her arms and gesturing forwards. “We’re both exos here, and so we can talk about this.”

“Rust, I really don’t need to talk about this.” Callia said.

“I think you’re wrong, and as the leader of your fireteam I’m saying that we’re talking about this.”

After a moment of hesitation, Callia followed Rust. 

“Look.” Rust said, clapping an arm over Callia’s shoulders. “I have the dreams too, fighting to the tower. I didn’t always deal with them well. I tried to hide it.”

“And what did you end up doing to deal with them?” Callia asked, slightly irritated that the other was forcing her to discuss this.

“I accepted that they weren’t real. I talked about them with Galen. I accepted that while they scared me, it wasn’t something that I could afford to focus on.”

“And that fixed it?”

“Not completely.” Rust said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. “It’s still hard. Ask Galen, and he’d tell you. It took time to trust him when we were first put in a fireteam together, but it’s been good. Trusting someone enough to talk about it helps.” 

Rust paused as they walked past a walkway by the edge of the tower, leaning on it and looking out over the city below. 

“That doesn’t make it easy, but it helps, and I know that you need sleep, Callia. I’ve been there. You should know that Galen and I are always here for you.”

Callia sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can’t promise that what I’m saying will work for you.” Rust said. “But I know that working at it can help, and that if you try you can find a way to deal with it.”

“I dreamed about someone I knew.” Callia finally said. 

“They say that we knew them all, once.” Rust said. “But I understand. It’s hard, and I understand not wanting to talk about it.”

“Do you ever see Galen?”

Rust didn’t say anything for a long moment. 

“I did see him, once.”

“Have you ever talked to him about it?”

“It’s something that I’d rather not mention. It wasn’t real, so I chose not to worry about it too much. He did ask once if I ever had, and I wouldn’t lie to him.”

“Rust, I wish I could deal with this with your confidence.” Callia said after a moment. 

“Hey, I’ve got years of practice, so you’d better get started.” Rust elbowed Callia. “Now, I was explicitly told by someone who I can’t disobey that you weren’t supposed to go into the crucible, so what do you say we go get Galen and see if we can’t go get some lunch.”

“You’re not going to tell me to sleep?”

“Callia, you’ll sleep when you’re ready.” Rust said. “I trust that.”

“Thank you.” Callia said, relieved. 

“But if the Commander asks me if you tried to get me to go to the crucible, I’m telling him.” Rust said. “

“I should expect that, shouldn’t I?” Callia asked. 

“Yes you should! Now, food! Galen bet me that I couldn’t beat my record for eating ramen and I’m bound and determined to win that money from him!”

Callia laughed. “Right. I’m sure that’ll work out for you, Rust.”

“Of course it will! There’s no way that I can fail!” Rust declared, moving away from the railing as she walked away. “Keep up Callia, this is something that I need you to see.”

Callia followed Rust, mood significantly brighter as she walked despite her exhaustion. She’d sleep later, and just maybe some of Rust’s advice would help her, and she’d be able to get some rest. 

“Call for you, Callia.” Her ghost said. “From the Commander.”

“Put him on.” Callia said.

_ “Guardian. I hope that you were able to rest.” _

Callia didn’t say anything in return for a moment, debating her options.

“I wasn’t.” She finally said, hesitating again before continuing. “Bad dreams.”

Zavala didn’t say anything for a moment, and Callia waited for him to respond. 

_ “I should be done with my duties by 2200. If you can’t rest before then, I’ll see if I can help.” _

“Thank you.” Callia said.

_ “You are welcome.” _

Callia hurried to catch up with Rust who’d strode ahead. 

“Callia-- Oh, good! Galen’s meeting us there, and he didn’t believe me when I told him to be ready to lose a bet! When have I ever lost a bet!”

Callia could think of several occasions where Rust had lost bets, most recently when she’d bet against Callia’s relationship, but she didn’t feel inclined to mention that now. 

“I can’t think of a time, Rust!” Callia replied. “Galen’s sure to lose this one.”

“See, I knew you’d support me! Excellent work, Callia!”

“I’m glad to help.”

* * *

Callia watched as Rust slurped down her second bowl of ramen, slowly working through her own bowl. Galen was watching carefully, making sure that none of the noodles or broth spilled out. 

“Hah!” Rust declared. “Two down, five to go!”

“You’re going to be sick.” Galen stated matter-of-factly. “You’re going to be sick all over this poor man’s restaurant.”

“I’m never sick!” Rust declared. “Nothing can stop me, nothing at--” 

Rust paused as her ghost appeared.  

“What is it, Noodle?”

“Call from Cayde. There’s troouuuble in the EDZ.” Noodle drawled. “ Patrol gone bad. He needs you three to head back out.”

“What?” Rust spat out a mouthful of noodles, earning a glare from the shopkeeper. “We just got back.”

“What, do you want some team out there getting it because you wouldn’t stop eating noodles?” Noodle said.

“I didn’t say that.” Rust said. “We go. Now.” Rust extracted her money, dumping it on the counter. “Galen, I will win this bet. But for now-- Heroics!”

* * *

Callia yawned as her ghost transmatted her to her ship. 

She honestly didn’t know if she was glad that Rust had forgotten her strict instructions to keep Callia out of the crucible, and that Rust, in her excitement and determination might have forgotten that was the case, and that flying out to the EDZ might not be a good idea. On one hand, this might prolong her time awake. On the other hand, Callia  _ had _ been given orders by the Vanguard Commander to stay out of combat. 

She couldn’t go against orders from another member of the vanguard, right? Right? This wasn’t a good situation. Maybe she should have said something? No, she couldn’t have went against orders.

“Ghost?” Callia said hesitantly. 

“...Yes?”

“Keep me awake.”

“I don’t need to tell you how stupid this is.”

“...You don’t.” Callia said slowly. “I’ve got a feeling that I’m going to be hearing it later no matter what.”

“From the Commander?” 

“...I don’t know.” Callia let her head hang. “I should have said something to Rust?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Her ghost said. “It doesn’t matter now. Just stay focused, and we’ll keep going.”

* * *

Callia very nearly dozed off several times during the flight to the EDZ, but once they landed she felt reasonably prepared. So long as she kept moving, this would be fine. They’d go find the Servitor that had been plaguing the zone and team up with the other fireteam in the area and hopefully be back before too long.

Hopefully. 

This really wasn’t ideal.

“Now.” Rust stated loudly, looking at Galen and Callia. “It should be a short sparrow ride to the location they gave us, and then, from there it should be easy to fight. The other fireteam’s waiting there, and we will be providing support and firepower. Any questions?”

Callia shook her head. 

“Good! Let’s go!” Rust said, summoning her sparrow. “Follow my lead!”

Callia summoned her sparrow, following Rust and Galen, trying to keep her eyes on the path as they sped across the EDZ. More than once she caught herself drifting, her ghost shouting at her over a private channel to keep her awake. 

Soon enough, they reached the location specified by Cayde, approaching the other guardians, hidden in cover and slightly singed, but other than that none the worse for the wear. 

“What’s the situation?” Rust asked. 

A hunter stepped forwards. “Patrol. We were sent to deal with the servitor, but it was bigger than anticipated. Kept summoning vandals and dreg.”

“Well, fear not!” Rust declared. “We are here to help!”

“...Right.” The hunter said. “Follow my lead and I’ll show you where we’re going.”

“Of course.” Rust said, clapping him on the back and sending him a few inches forwards. “Lead the way, hunter!”

The hunter led them through the undergrowth, their group of six traipsing through it together until they reached a clearing ahead. 

“Who’s got super?” The hunter whispered to them. 

“I do.” Galen said.

“Class?”

“Gunslinger.”

“You go first, then we’ll follow.”

“Done.” Galen charged forwards and into the clearing, fire wreathing him as he activated his super, glowing sword appearing in his hands. 

The rest of the group followed, spreading out and charging into the clearing. Callia hung back, swinging her sniper off of her shoulder and taking aim. She fired off two shots before swinging it back onto her back, grabbing her hand canon and firing at a dreg who’d scrambled from the bushes. 

The dreg out of the way, she looked around, powering herself up to a higher ledge, swinging down her sniper again, taking aim at the servitor. She fired off a single shot, barely missing. Irritable, she took aim, frustrated by the fact that she couldn’t seem to get her aim to line up with the servitor. 

She put her finger on the trigger, preparing to fire when her optics flickered off for a fraction of a second, exhaustion catching up to her as she accidentally pressed the trigger.

The sound of an explicative from Rust echoed across the battlefield, Callia’s optics flickering on again just in time to see the exo clutching her chest, staring up at her. 

“Callia, duck!” Rust’s voice was ragged as she called. 

Callia turned, spotting a charged blade coming towards her. Time seemed to move slowly, Callia unable to move her limbs fast enough to react as the blade slammed into her chest, sending her tumbling down, falling back into darkness. 

…

“Callia? Callia? Oh--” Callia distantly heard Rust curse as her optics flickered back on. “I’m dead. The Commander is gonna kill me. I am going to die. I can’t believe that I forgot this.”

Callia pushed herself up into a sitting position. 

“Callia?” Her ghost asked. “Are you with us?”

“I’m back.” She said. 

“Good.” Rust said, grabbing her hand and hauling her up to her feet. “You shot me there, but I figure that’s what I get for taking you out here.”

“You were just following orders.” Callia said sleepily. 

“Yeah, but I could’ve said you weren’t feeling well. Galen and I could’ve handled going out on our own. Let’s get you back to the tower.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“C’mon Callia, we talked about this. You gotta, or you’ll end up shooting me again.”

“Right.”

“Galen and I will finish up here. You get back to the tower, and we’ll send you a message when we get back.”

Callia nodded wordlessly, and a few moments later she was back in her ship, her ghost transmatting her back into it. 

The ride back was a hazy mix of nightmares and waking, and by the time her ghost alerted her that they were closing in on the tower, Callia was ready to do anything but sleep. 

When her ghost transmatted her onto the tower Callia wasn’t sure what time it was, and it took a moment or two for her to regain her balance. 

“Callia!” She heard someone call her name, and blinking, she turned to look to see who it was, swaying slightly. “Callia! 

“Wha--” 

“Callia, what were you thinking?” Zavala was there, tightly embracing her. “I told you not to leave the tower.”

“It was a mission.” Callia murmured sleepily into his chest. “I had to go.”

“Callia-- You should have said something-- Rust-5 should have known better.”

“I’m back now though?” 

Zavala exhaled. “Come with me. You’re sleeping now.”

Callia didn’t say much as Zavala led her through the tower, leaning absently on him as she walked. When they did reach his rooms, she stripped down to her undersuit, leaving her armor in a pile on the floor, falling onto the bed.

She laughed as she hit the mattress, bouncing slightly, shifting the blankets around till she was safely covered. Around the time she finished with this Zavala joined her, picking up his datapad, flicking it on. 

Callia edged closer to him, pressing her face against his side. 

“I love you.” She muttered. “I said it, last night, when you were asleep.”

“Guardian, I know.” He said gently. “You should sleep.”

“I’ll have nightmares.”

“I will be here.”

“Thank you.” Callia muttered, drifting off into sleep.


End file.
